A Little Flash of Fiction

Rachel Harrie’s first Campaigner Challenge calls for 200 words of flash fiction in our usual genres, starting with “Shadows crept across the wall”, ending with “everything faded”, and working in the word orange if possible.  🙂 Visit the link above to ‘like’ your favorite entries  (Mine is #199).   Here’s my story:

Forever His

Shadows crept across the wall, lengthening and shortening as the hours passed, day after endless day. Felicia tried the door once more, not surprised when the knob refused to turn. The window also declined to open, and she wondered if someone had painted it shut or nailed it closed from the outside. No matter how loudly she yelled or how hard she banged her fists against the pane, help never came.

She wanted out, to go back home, maybe find love again and start a family. She’d left Mitchell only last week, or was it longer? Hard to tell, since she’d lost count of the sunrises that marked her stay. His lies still rang in her ears, his professions of love, his vow that she’d be forever his. Even after she caught him in the arms of a cheap harlot in orange panties.

The last time Felicia saw Mitchell, he wavered between the dueling emotions of rage and desperation. How dare she, his wife and legal property, seek a divorce? But his tears flowed as he begged her to stay.

“No?” He cocked his pistol. “I’ll never let you go.”

She awoke in this room, the day after everything faded.

19 comments on “A Little Flash of Fiction

  1. Ooh very creepy!! I want to know more of the story! It makes me wonder how she got into the room that she can’t escape… Great job!

    I’m entry #19

  2. Great story from start to finish. I love how you used the word orange. 😀 I hope she makes it outta there!!

  3. Christy Farmer says:

    So happy to see you in the challenge Tina! Love the pacing and the story! Off to vote! 🙂 I’m # 61.

  4. laurenwaters says:

    I love this! Great twist.

  5. Cynthia says:

    This is very chilling! I certainly hope that Felicia eventually escapes! Thanks for sharing.


  6. Ann Cory says:

    Enjoyed the twist – nice job!

  7. I’ve got goosebumps! Well done!

  8. Jaye Viner says:

    This was one of the more useful endings I saw using the reflection of the past tense. It takes thought and consideration to make those ending words feel natural. 🙂

  9. Aimee says:

    Hello Tina! I am commenting to let you know that you have been shortlisted to go on to round two! Congratulations! Great story. 🙂

  10. meradeth says:

    Oh wow, how deliciously creepy! Great story!

  11. Thanks everybody! Glad you’re enjoying my little story. 🙂

    Aimee, thanks so much for letting me know. That’s great! 🙂

  12. Awesome entry! loved the “orange panties” line. hehe

    Hope you like mine too, #189

  13. Nice tension and great twist. 🙂

  14. Very interesting. Where has he put her? Mine is #71

  15. deniz says:

    Oh my! I do hope she gets out!

  16. Ooo. Nice twist. Loved it. = )

    I’m #149

  17. Love the cliffhanger ending.

  18. Yeah, nice story, and nice ending. How long has she been in that room, and if nobody ever comes, how long before she dies of thirst?

    Thanks for sharing.

  19. C.M. Brown says:

    Interesting! She must be very thirsty and hungry already!

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